My heart is breaking...

Background.....

My Grandma had cancer removed from the inside of her mouth and tongue several years ago. Sunday night Isaac (my brother who is in dental school) took a look in her mouth and suspected her cancer was back. He took pictures and emailed them to his professor, who happens to be the head of oral oncology at the University of Iowa. His professor confirmed Isaac's fear, and suggested that a biopsy be done ASAP.

Update....

My Grandma went in for the biopsy yesterday and the doctor removed a chunk of her tongue larger than a nickel. He finally had to stop because the cancer was so wide spread. At her last dentist appointment 6 months ago, no cancer existed. Now, 6 months later, it has "spread like wildfire" and has gone all over the inside of her mouth and into her jaw bone. The doctor here in town is at a loss.... My Grandma weighs less than 100 pounds and if he decided to operate, he'd have to remove most of her tongue, jaw bone and possibly start removing cells in her throat. He won't do that extensive of a surgery because he doesn't think that my Grandma would make it through.... She's just not strong enough.... The other option is radiation and chemo. Again, she is too weak to go through that... So, he said that there's nothing he can really do for her.

My mom and I are going to take her to Iowa City next week. Evidently there is a great ENT doctor, and we're going to see what he has to say...

It just breaks my heart. She is my last living grandparent and Katherine and Caleb's only living great-grandparent.

So last night after the biopsy, we all took her to the Cracker Barrel for pancakes. She had to eat immediately after the biopsy because her mouth would still be numb and he wanted her to eat something really soft so that she wouldn't disrupt the stitches...

The ironic thing in all this.... About 2 or 3 weeks ago Katherine started asking about death and why people have to die and go to Heaven. She wonders why people have to get old and is asking a million questions. She wonders if I'm going to die.... UUUGH. I'm sure all these questions are due to Easter and the death and resurrection of Jesus. I wish I could shield her from all of this... I wish she could remain innocent forever. I wish life was fair. I wish cancer didn't exist. I wish our hearts didn't have to break.....